The following statements about the Bible were written by children. Comment on some of them – explain what makes them funny. What was the mistake this or that child made?

The Bible as Literature 2

 Today you will learn to compare very short and more detailed presentation of the same events to find additional information.

Vocabulary drill. Read the words, examine the way their meaning is presented and supply your own contexts to elicit the meaning of each word.

Look through the following compressed information about the first few books of the Old Testament and answer the questions below.

The Beginnings. God creates a good world, but evil begins to influence man.

The Ancestors of the Israelites (2000-1700 B.C.) God calls Abraham and promises that he will become the father of a great nation, living in a land given by God. Abraham’s grandson, Jacob, receives the name Israel and has twelve sons from whom the twelve tribes of Israel descend. One of his sons, Joseph, becomes adviser to the king of Egypt and takes the family to live there.

The Israelites in Egypt: Slavery and Liberation (= getting freedom).  The descendants of Israel become slaves in Egypt for about 450 years, but the promise to Abraham is renewed when God calls Moses to lead them out of Egypt. For about forty years the people wander in the desert God gives the Law on Mount Sinai and makes a covenant [‘ke-] with them –this is an agreement of special relationship between the Israelites and God. God’s promise begins to take shape as the Israelites conquer the land of Canaan and settle down there. However, they are not yet one nation, but a group of tribes led by various heroic figures known as Judges.

The United Israelite Kingdom (1030-931 B.C.) The Israelite tribes are brought together under their first king, Saul. The height of the nation’s unity and greatness is reached under King David, who ruled after Saul. David makes Jerusalem his capital city and God promises that his descendants will be a continuous line of kings. Solomon, David’s son, builds the Temple in Jerusalem.

¨ Who is considered to be the forefather of the Jews?

¨ Who gave rise to the twelve tribes of Israel?

¨ Who led the Jews out of Egypt and across the desert?

¨ Where did they settle down? (= What was the Promised Land)?

¨ How were the tribes governed before they got their first king?

¨ Which Jewish king became the ancestor of a continuous line of kings?

Now read some passages that give you details about this or that event. Say what important or interesting facts are added.

¨ When the people of Israel secretly left Egypt, the king of Egypt sent his army to bring them back or to kill them. But the Egyptian army was drowned in the Red Sea. Then the people of Israel walked through the desert but found no food in it. They all complained to Moses: “We wish that the Lord had killed us in Egypt. There we could at least eat as much as we wanted. But you have brought us out into this desert to starve us to death.” Then the Lord said to Moses, “Now I am going to make food rain down from the sky for all of you. The people must go out every day and gather enough for that day. In the morning there was dew all around the camp. When the dew dried up, there was something thin on the ground. It was as delicate as frost. The Israelites gathered as much as they needed for the day. In this way they were no longer hungry. They called this food manna. It was like a small white seed and tasted like biscuits made with honey. The Lord also commanded them to save some manna to be kept for their descendants so that they could see the food their ancestors ate in the desert.

¨ The Lord called to Moses from the mountain and told him to say to the Israelites:” If you obey me and keep my covenant, you will be my own people. The whole earth is mine, but you will be my chosen people.” …Then Moses came down from the mountain and told his people to get ready for worship. On the morning of the third day, there was thunder and lightning, a thick cloud appeared on the mountain, and a very loud trumpet was heard. The people were frightened. The whole of the Mount Sinai was covered with smoke because the Lord had come down on it in fire. The Lord called Moses to the top of the mountain. God spoke to Moses and, through him, gave the people the Ten Commandments and many other rules telling them what they must and must not do. He told Moses to come up into the cloud, and there Moses stayed for forty days and nights. It was there that the Lord gave Moses two stone tablets on which the laws he had given were written.

¨ Joshua, who led the people after the death of Moses, had to fight against some other tribes in order to lead his people to the Promised Land. On the day that the Lord gave the men of Israel victory over the Amorites, Joshua spoke to the Lord. In the presence of the Israelites he said, “Sun, stand still over Gibeon; Moon, stop over Aijalon Valley.” The sun stood still and the moon did not move until the nation had conquered its enemies. The sun stood still in the middle of the day and did not go down for a whole day. Never before and never since, has there been a day like it, when the Lord obeyed a human being. The Lord fought on Israel’s side!

Read the Ten Commandments and try to reconstruct their Russian equivalent. Are these commandments out of date today or are they as urgent as they used to be? How would you place them in the order of their descending importance? Explain.

1)Worship no god but me.

2)Do not make for yourselves images of anything in heaven or on earth. Do not worship any idol, because I am the Lord your god and I will tolerate no rivals.

3)Do not use my name for evil purposes.

4)Observe the Sabbath and keep it holy. You have six days in which to do your work, but on that day no one is to work. In six days I, the Lord, made the earth, the sky, the sea, and everything that’s in them, but on the seventh day I rested. That is why I made the Sabbath holy.

5)Respect your father and your mother.

6)Do not commit murder. (= Or, in bookish English, “Thou shalt not commit murder”).

7)Do not commit adultery.

8)Do not steal.

9)Do not accuse anyone falsely.

10)Do not desire another man’s house; do not desire his wife, his slaves, his cattle, his donkeys, or anything else than he owns.

The following statements about the Bible were written by children. Comment on some of them – explain what makes them funny. What was the mistake this or that child made?

¨ The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.

¨ A Christian should have only one husband or wife. This is called monotony.

¨ Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.

¨ The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert.

¨  Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten amendments.

¨ The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

¨ Moses died before he ever reached Canada.

¨ God gave Moses two tablets to cure him of his headache.

¨ During the Flood, Noah built an ark, onto which the animals came in pairs. Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. 

¨ The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.